I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
