and you said cock pushups were impossible
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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