Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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