hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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