What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
