The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize