Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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