Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
