I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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