I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
