he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
