the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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