If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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