my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
