Soap is not a condiment
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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