Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
