it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
