there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
