it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize