is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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