Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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