A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All the doctor said was why
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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