I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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