I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
