GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
