ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
