do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
