The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
