You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
