i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
