i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
