hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
