You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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