Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
