I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
