Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
