it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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