Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
