He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
