I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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