he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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