i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
