I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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