She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
