I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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