Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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