How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
