I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
