like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
