Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
