There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
