how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
