what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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