using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
