do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
