Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
