that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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