hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
